


Nothing Here is Vegetarian

by pricelessmaple



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Writing, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Cannibalism, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Dead People, Death, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Sex, Minor Character Death, Murder, Murderers, Original Character Death(s), Out of Character, Snakes, but not really because he isn’t human, kinda???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 10:26:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18809302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pricelessmaple/pseuds/pricelessmaple
Summary: A particular snake boy decides to stop by and have his new friend for dinner.A canon-divergent AU where Noah doesn't get decapitated by Jack and continues to do his thing.





	Nothing Here is Vegetarian

**Author's Note:**

> this has been on my mind since Ouroboros first aired   
> I knew I wanted to write something about Noah  
> and I was kinda upset that he died  
> like  
> I knew it was going to happen  
> but I really liked him okay
> 
> also  
> it's not really that graphic?? but I put the warning on just in case

Some trashy pop song with lyrics he didn’t care about played in the background, as nothing more than music to accompany the sizzle of his food. He finally had the time to sit down and eat a proper meal - a chance that had been eluding him for a rather long time. He knew the Winchesters would be on his back soon enough, but it was taking them a while. Perhaps he had slammed Dean’s head into the wall too hard, he thought as he let out a huff of amusement.

Noah removed the lid from the pot and turned off the stove fire. He waited a moment, to let the meat cool down, before slicing into it. When he was certain that it was done, he took the pot off of the stove. “Oh, Felix. I should probably clean up before I start eating, right? Before the blood dries.”

Felix hissed in response, and Noah sighed. “I know. It’s a disaster. I’m getting sloppy. I was so close to getting caught though. They cheated. They used monsters against me. Angels, nonetheless. But now I know better. We’ll be prepared.” He smiled at the snake, and began to scrub the spilt blood off of the kitchen floor. Sometimes he did wish he could have someone with him, someone more responsive than Felix. But he knew it was too dangerous. Plus, humans were treacherous. Everyone‘s out for themselves lately, and he even didn’t have the time to go find some gullible person to follow him around like a lost puppy. 

He tossed the rag onto the counter, and began to fix himself a plate. He caught sight of Felix slithering out of the room, and let him. Fine, he’d just eat his dinner by himself. It didn’t bother him - at least, that’s what he told himself. 

Noah did just that: ate by himself. No one was in the room but him and the dead body. He couldn’t remember the man’s name, just that he’d let a stranger walk right into his home. He had to admit, the dead guy had been a fantastic kisser. But the meat on his bones hadn’t been as fatty as Noah had expected. Too much muscle. He’ll keep that in mind for next time. He was too used to female meat. But lately, he’d been experiencing a craving for males. Plus, males are easy to trick. Typically, they tend to be stupider. Or, at least, make dumber decisions. Girls protected themselves better, as he learned from the time he was sprayed in the face with mace. Another mistake that would not be repeated.

He finished his dinner and began to clean the dishes. He needed to clean up and remove as much of his own DNA from the scene as possible. Noah had been doing this for years, and no one had come close to catching him. That is, until Sam and Dean Winchester started putting their noses in places they don’t belong. But, for now, he should be safe.

After pulling out one of the eyes and popping it into his mouth, he pulled out a trash bag and started dumping the severed body parts into it. He would spread the bones around a mountain range, giving animals the chance to move them around and damage them. Everything else would be burned in the woods somewhere. From his own personal experience, he had found that it was surprisingly easy to commit murder. Noah had no clue as to why humans got caught so quickly. Too sloppy, he supposed, and greedy. 

The bones had been put into a separate bag, to ensure they wouldn’t get mixed in. Once he was certain that all evidence was taken care of, he tossed the bloody rag into the trash bag and tied it up. “Alright, Felix, it’s time to go.”

He had the two bags in his left hand, and with his right, opened the small satchel in front of the snake to let him slither in. Once Felix was secure, Noah headed out, shutting off lights with his elbows as he went. 

This was always the trickiest part. He needed to get back to his car without any suspecting witnesses. He’d had difficulty with this before. One elderly woman had come out, asking about his bags. His lie had been smooth enough to nearly convince her, but he could see the doubts on her face. But he just nodded, assured her that everything was fine. She had merely assumed that he had just robbed her neighbour, and that was easier to explain away than murder. 

But he made it to the car just fine, and drove away. No one knew what happened in that house, and no one would ever know, except Noah.

He was tense, but unworried. He always was tense after eating. After the close call with the Winchesters and their pretty angel boys, he was better about covering his tracks. It meant having to starve himself for longer periods of time, but it would be worth it in the long run. His survival meant everything to him. 

The car was silent, and Noah couldn’t handle it. He could practically hear his heartbeat pounding. He turned on the radio for some kind of noise, anything that would silence his thoughts. He didn’t recognise the voice - all of the female pop artists nowadays sound the same. But it was something, and he forced himself to focus on it. Well, that, and getting out of the city. He wouldn’t let himself take two victims in a city, or even a county. Spreading it out prolonged the time between the murder and the police catching on. 

He rolled his shoulders, trying to force himself to relax. Perhaps he would just keep going, get out of the state. He’d only gotten one victim from Montana and he could feel his body aching for more, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to kill or hurt any more people, but it was the only way to live. It was the only way he knew how to live. 

He would stretch out his time for as long as he could. It was just a matter of time before either the police catch him, and he gets locked up for the rest of his life, or Sam and Dean catch him, and kill him for what he’d done. Neither of those situations sound particularly appealing to him, but there is no one on his side except for himself. Although, he must admit. 

No matter what, he always has Felix. 


End file.
